We were brought up watching the ease of romance, everlasting love, and the existence of soul mates. A few of us may have had the fortunate opportunity to be taught that it is not easy to water and nurture something, let alone get it to start growing, when the time comes. No one certainly told me how complicated it all was, when people's histories and emotional states are involved to merge into one, even if everything else seems to fit.
Fittingness: How do we know when to stop, or move forward when it comes to matters of the heart? When do you decide how far you would risk the very thing you are trying to protect and give away at the same time?
Some of us take longer than others to mend a broken heart, and we use nearly every excuse to convince ourselves, more so than anyone else, that we are simply too busy for love, that other priorities come first at this point in our lives.
I have done exactly that.
But when I really looked deeply inside, I was, just like every other human being who has ever experienced great loves and lost, scared shitless. How can we trust someone new, let alone trust ourselves that this fragile, beating being is not going to take over our emotions and mind, lose our good judgement for what seemed like a fleeting moment of bliss?
In that moment of epiphany, not one that happens overnight, I know the risk of it is.
And the answer is Trust.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
I like it when
I like it when I can hear the rain fall against the roof,
on a quiet night under a warm blanket.
When things that don't make sense
solve themselves with time;
When I see people smile,
laughter overcomes fear, joy overshadows sadness.
I like it when my hand is held;
tightly,
safely,
loosely touched in times of anxiety,
or for no reason at all.
When there is a challenge in thoughts,
opinions, and situations;
simple matters and difficult circumstances.
When someone or something makes me realise
that I might be wrong,
the world may not be fair,
and that perfection is of subjective relevance.
I like it when I fit perfectly in a warm curve,
an overwhelming contentment,
feeling his breath against my hair.
When I am surprised;
continually, unexpectedly so. A sweet surrender,
to giving in.
I like it when things are not always in order;
I fall asleep on the couch, being carried to bed, a glass of water is offered in case I am thirsty.
Things unsaid are resolved,
Things broken are fixed,
Things untouched are blessed.
I like it when
I remember that life is an overzealous adventure:
that one needs to continually seek lessons within it,
to change oneself because of it;
that love is to be sought after, and accepted graciously;
that it is not easily handed over, taken for granted;
that one can never know for certain what creates it, sustains it, or destroys it and when;
that the best thing one can do is to be patient and pass it on.
on a quiet night under a warm blanket.
When things that don't make sense
solve themselves with time;
When I see people smile,
laughter overcomes fear, joy overshadows sadness.
I like it when my hand is held;
tightly,
safely,
loosely touched in times of anxiety,
or for no reason at all.
When there is a challenge in thoughts,
opinions, and situations;
simple matters and difficult circumstances.
When someone or something makes me realise
that I might be wrong,
the world may not be fair,
and that perfection is of subjective relevance.
I like it when I fit perfectly in a warm curve,
an overwhelming contentment,
feeling his breath against my hair.
When I am surprised;
continually, unexpectedly so. A sweet surrender,
to giving in.
I like it when things are not always in order;
I fall asleep on the couch, being carried to bed, a glass of water is offered in case I am thirsty.
Things unsaid are resolved,
Things broken are fixed,
Things untouched are blessed.
I like it when
I remember that life is an overzealous adventure:
that one needs to continually seek lessons within it,
to change oneself because of it;
that love is to be sought after, and accepted graciously;
that it is not easily handed over, taken for granted;
that one can never know for certain what creates it, sustains it, or destroys it and when;
that the best thing one can do is to be patient and pass it on.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
A Knight
With the roles of women emancipation, equalization of women's place in the world, and the proof that we can, in fact, do just about anything a man can do and that we do not need them to save us from ourselves, have we really left behind traditions of chivalry; purposely ignoring, avoiding, or simply not admitting that we still long for them?
I would like to think that I am an independent, strong, young woman of sorts; the perfect byproduct of assimilated cultures and traditions - a blend of future and past. In a lot of ways, that, I am.
And then I met him.
I wanted to fast-forward; skip all the formalities of courting and dating and the bullshit of playing games. I wanted to be right inside his head, to know him beyond the surface, to have the right to his heart.
Unexpectedly, unknowingly and embarassingly, for a while there, I had discovered that a part of me was still the girl, like all girls, who wishfully thought that she could be that girl, whom "...maybe to drop everything for..." to someone one day after all.
Perhaps we grew up in an unrealistic, and 'smoothed-over' culture, where it was ingrained in our beings that there should be a knight in shining armour, ready to slay any dragons in the way, even if he was in the middle of a really great poker game with the boys and coming ahead with a million dollars. Luckily, as I've gotten older, perhaps more experienced or taken the 'real life' serum, I have only learned that we shouldn't expect that, instead to only think of it as a cherry on top: you don't need it, you don't have to like it, and especially, to even eat it up at all!
He might not be a knight after all, and he won't be riding a black stallion; it is a second-hand bicycle instead. However, that wishful thinking will always be in the back of our minds; any girl who doesn't admit that is lying. (That, and a guy we would want to fuck all hours of the day).
All of a sudden, I found myself losing. Out of fear of screwing things up, intensity and fear combined, things were slipping. We found ourselves setting boundaries on something that did not yet exist. There was too much pressure. We nearly destroyed a wonderful possibility; and perhaps we have. I realized that was all it was - and is - in its infancy stage: a possibility; nothing more and nothing less.
I have no right.
Therefore, all that said, I am not one predisposed to do anything that doesn't feel natural for both parties involved. And I would only expect the same from the other person. Things will naturally fall into place where they belong, right or wrong, and to be uncovered as such.
And so I leave this to rest - no skipping to the greatest part.
I would like to think that I am an independent, strong, young woman of sorts; the perfect byproduct of assimilated cultures and traditions - a blend of future and past. In a lot of ways, that, I am.
And then I met him.
I wanted to fast-forward; skip all the formalities of courting and dating and the bullshit of playing games. I wanted to be right inside his head, to know him beyond the surface, to have the right to his heart.
Unexpectedly, unknowingly and embarassingly, for a while there, I had discovered that a part of me was still the girl, like all girls, who wishfully thought that she could be that girl, whom "...maybe to drop everything for..." to someone one day after all.
Perhaps we grew up in an unrealistic, and 'smoothed-over' culture, where it was ingrained in our beings that there should be a knight in shining armour, ready to slay any dragons in the way, even if he was in the middle of a really great poker game with the boys and coming ahead with a million dollars. Luckily, as I've gotten older, perhaps more experienced or taken the 'real life' serum, I have only learned that we shouldn't expect that, instead to only think of it as a cherry on top: you don't need it, you don't have to like it, and especially, to even eat it up at all!
He might not be a knight after all, and he won't be riding a black stallion; it is a second-hand bicycle instead. However, that wishful thinking will always be in the back of our minds; any girl who doesn't admit that is lying. (That, and a guy we would want to fuck all hours of the day).
All of a sudden, I found myself losing. Out of fear of screwing things up, intensity and fear combined, things were slipping. We found ourselves setting boundaries on something that did not yet exist. There was too much pressure. We nearly destroyed a wonderful possibility; and perhaps we have. I realized that was all it was - and is - in its infancy stage: a possibility; nothing more and nothing less.
I have no right.
Therefore, all that said, I am not one predisposed to do anything that doesn't feel natural for both parties involved. And I would only expect the same from the other person. Things will naturally fall into place where they belong, right or wrong, and to be uncovered as such.
And so I leave this to rest - no skipping to the greatest part.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Awakening
A time comes in your life when you finally get, when, in the midst ofall your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH!
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear overthe next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are and that is O.K. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you- or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have been bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, that it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty, and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and it's O.K. to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...and you learn not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things taken for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear overthe next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are and that is O.K. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you- or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have been bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, that it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty, and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and it's O.K. to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...and you learn not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things taken for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
X-Roads
Having been completely self-sufficient and independent from my friends' ever-timely lives as they are expected to be by our smoothed-over culture, it had never occurred to me that my life, for once, would ever be directly impacted, by how their lives have evolved.
With all the excitement of (10) weddings of 2 years past, and (7) babies of 6 months past having come and gone, I am faced with the question: Now what?
It is one thing for your friends to couple up and settle down, and another when their routines are dictated by the wake up cries at daybreak, afternoon naps, and scheduled bedtimes. I have been guilty of getting completely caught up in the thrilling whirlwind of new lives being formed, created, and delivered, that I didn't stop to think about what it would mean to me once the new arrivals are announced.
I have walked along this path and now come to a stop at, what seems to me, an unexpected crossroad. The only thing that bothers me this time around, is not the options themselves, but rather, for the first time, I am concerned about whether I am going to make the right turn.
My personal aspirations have always been uncomplicated: explore as many things as possible in life; absorb them; determine which ones are right or wrong for me - not to repeat the latter, and for the former: aim high for those that inspire, move, and shape a better me. They do not have to be quantitative. They do not even have to be tangible. They don't have to be right in the eyes of others. They just have to feel right for my mind and body.
I have been walking without looking up, only around and forward. I have not planned where my turns are going to be, how it would happen, and especially when. Whenever I make the wrong turn, I simply turn around and choose a different path.
Today, however, is a different day. I wonder if finally I need to figure out a destination each time I start. What that is, I am uncertain. I only know that along the way, if something peaks my interest, I will continue to stop and test it out.
With all the excitement of (10) weddings of 2 years past, and (7) babies of 6 months past having come and gone, I am faced with the question: Now what?
It is one thing for your friends to couple up and settle down, and another when their routines are dictated by the wake up cries at daybreak, afternoon naps, and scheduled bedtimes. I have been guilty of getting completely caught up in the thrilling whirlwind of new lives being formed, created, and delivered, that I didn't stop to think about what it would mean to me once the new arrivals are announced.
I have walked along this path and now come to a stop at, what seems to me, an unexpected crossroad. The only thing that bothers me this time around, is not the options themselves, but rather, for the first time, I am concerned about whether I am going to make the right turn.
My personal aspirations have always been uncomplicated: explore as many things as possible in life; absorb them; determine which ones are right or wrong for me - not to repeat the latter, and for the former: aim high for those that inspire, move, and shape a better me. They do not have to be quantitative. They do not even have to be tangible. They don't have to be right in the eyes of others. They just have to feel right for my mind and body.
I have been walking without looking up, only around and forward. I have not planned where my turns are going to be, how it would happen, and especially when. Whenever I make the wrong turn, I simply turn around and choose a different path.
Today, however, is a different day. I wonder if finally I need to figure out a destination each time I start. What that is, I am uncertain. I only know that along the way, if something peaks my interest, I will continue to stop and test it out.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Good to Great
10 Keys to turning your life from good to great:
- Make the story of your life an Oscar-winning movie
- Expand your mind and universe: ask tough questions.
- Interrupt negative thoughts
- Be flexible & adapt: it is the sign of an evolved person.
- Lose the baggage: forgive, let go, and move on.
- Appreciate and Love: they work hand in hand. Contrary to the usual belief, love is not something that happens to you, it is something you do.
- Find blessing in every mess: by taking something positive out of every situation, you will lead a happier life.
- Embrace humility: you will earn respect from others.
- Be active: a healthy body leads to a healthy mind; and vice versa.
- Face the fear and do it anyway: live with courage, dignity, and an open heart. Continually reflect on yourself.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself" - Leo Tolstoy
Saturday, June 7, 2008
A better world, a better self
With the earth collapsing from all of its weight of human errors, and humans being the largest contributors to its slow demise, how do we make it better?
Or more importantly: Can we make it better?
An impressionable friend of mine, who applies a new learning or theory every other week, it seems, cancelled his honeymoon to India after having read a book on the overheating of our world. Unnecessary travels consuming jet fuels, emitting vast amounts of ozone-damaging carbon dioxide, amongst others, intrigued his forever-evolving brain. He decided that he and his future wife should try and undertake an environmentally-friendly honeymoon instead. Something that represents better who they are, and helps the little bit that counts towards saving this precious planet on which we live. Off to the Queen Charlotte islands they went - countless hours of ferry rides, biking and walking for 2 solid weeks. And they, are no tree-hugging granolas.
Another environmentalist acquaintance attended a protest on the teardown of a neighbourhood park to build another cookie-cutter Tim Horton's in his hometown. His deep belief and passion for the environment, it seems, is something he is willing to show all the way. Though he feels beaten and discouraged at times ("Inevitably you make more enemies than friends," he once said to me), he is still open to coming up short of his aspirations, as long as he makes his point across somehow, no matter how small a fraction.
In speaking of aspirations: do the great things in life require the most sacrifice?
I have yet to find mine. The most difficult challenge I have for myself, I hate to admit, has been simply making myself a better person. It is a challenge solely because it is a never-ending goal; or so it seems. The more I think I've discovered something, and made progress, the more I find things that can be better. As shitty as they are when romantic relationships end, for instance, they have been my biggest blessings in learned-experiences - how to tackle myself by seeing it through someone else's eyes. My work, my friends' and other people's experiences, my family and its history and therefore my upbringing, are also grand contributors. From those, it seems to me, I can only control to change myself, not other people, by learning about what, who, where, when, why, and how things came about to become as they are; as tomorrow, I can only try to be better than myself today.
Perhaps I'm just too critical of myself. Then I remind myself what someone wise told me once: being in the middle of any journey entailing discovery, evaluation and adaptation, automatically also means that there will always be more questions, more to do, and things you could do better. This, ultimately, applies to whichever cause.
How can we heal the world? Do we attain such a goal by reaching outwards - using our skills, knowledge, and passion all put into it? Or do we simply believe that by fixing the 'we' now based on past learnings, the future will inevitably fix itself? Is the only medicine to change the future to become an active participant?
Above all else, even if there were nothing else left to be admired, I will still admire that. I admire all things that I am not. But in the end, whether you work your way in from the outside, or out from the inside, we are all here only to fulfill the same dream.
Or more importantly: Can we make it better?
An impressionable friend of mine, who applies a new learning or theory every other week, it seems, cancelled his honeymoon to India after having read a book on the overheating of our world. Unnecessary travels consuming jet fuels, emitting vast amounts of ozone-damaging carbon dioxide, amongst others, intrigued his forever-evolving brain. He decided that he and his future wife should try and undertake an environmentally-friendly honeymoon instead. Something that represents better who they are, and helps the little bit that counts towards saving this precious planet on which we live. Off to the Queen Charlotte islands they went - countless hours of ferry rides, biking and walking for 2 solid weeks. And they, are no tree-hugging granolas.
Another environmentalist acquaintance attended a protest on the teardown of a neighbourhood park to build another cookie-cutter Tim Horton's in his hometown. His deep belief and passion for the environment, it seems, is something he is willing to show all the way. Though he feels beaten and discouraged at times ("Inevitably you make more enemies than friends," he once said to me), he is still open to coming up short of his aspirations, as long as he makes his point across somehow, no matter how small a fraction.
In speaking of aspirations: do the great things in life require the most sacrifice?
I have yet to find mine. The most difficult challenge I have for myself, I hate to admit, has been simply making myself a better person. It is a challenge solely because it is a never-ending goal; or so it seems. The more I think I've discovered something, and made progress, the more I find things that can be better. As shitty as they are when romantic relationships end, for instance, they have been my biggest blessings in learned-experiences - how to tackle myself by seeing it through someone else's eyes. My work, my friends' and other people's experiences, my family and its history and therefore my upbringing, are also grand contributors. From those, it seems to me, I can only control to change myself, not other people, by learning about what, who, where, when, why, and how things came about to become as they are; as tomorrow, I can only try to be better than myself today.
Perhaps I'm just too critical of myself. Then I remind myself what someone wise told me once: being in the middle of any journey entailing discovery, evaluation and adaptation, automatically also means that there will always be more questions, more to do, and things you could do better. This, ultimately, applies to whichever cause.
How can we heal the world? Do we attain such a goal by reaching outwards - using our skills, knowledge, and passion all put into it? Or do we simply believe that by fixing the 'we' now based on past learnings, the future will inevitably fix itself? Is the only medicine to change the future to become an active participant?
Above all else, even if there were nothing else left to be admired, I will still admire that. I admire all things that I am not. But in the end, whether you work your way in from the outside, or out from the inside, we are all here only to fulfill the same dream.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Reason, Season, Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
- Anonymous
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
- Anonymous
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I heart
The smell of rain after a thunderstorm,
the sound of snow falling on an empty street at night;
Seeing a smile on a child's face,
listening to the heartbeat when my head is rested on his chest;
The reverberating echoes of empty cobblestone streets in Paris,
having my hand held when crossing one;
Making it up to you, apologies taken,
moving forward, moving still;
The butterflies that never flew away,
only fluttering, little wings;
Pink sunsets, painted skies;
feet buried in warm white sands.
Being the object of affection, whilst understanding,
one has to give, in order to receive.
The look in Macy's eyes,
pure love;
Because it gives me a sense of peace;
it is why we live.
Because he cares,
and all is only forgotten if we are forgivable.
Because it catches you by surprise;
it is beautiful,
it melts you,
and one deserves nothing less.
Feeling loved.
Because that is when I feel complete.
the sound of snow falling on an empty street at night;
Seeing a smile on a child's face,
listening to the heartbeat when my head is rested on his chest;
The reverberating echoes of empty cobblestone streets in Paris,
having my hand held when crossing one;
Making it up to you, apologies taken,
moving forward, moving still;
The butterflies that never flew away,
only fluttering, little wings;
Pink sunsets, painted skies;
feet buried in warm white sands.
Being the object of affection, whilst understanding,
one has to give, in order to receive.
The look in Macy's eyes,
pure love;
Because it gives me a sense of peace;
it is why we live.
Because he cares,
and all is only forgotten if we are forgivable.
Because it catches you by surprise;
it is beautiful,
it melts you,
and one deserves nothing less.
Feeling loved.
Because that is when I feel complete.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Stability vs. Growth
A friend recently told me that he is in search of a woman, to add stability into his life. Not the financial way; but rather the mental and emotional. This came from someone whom I respect, as much of a dreamer as he is, he's got his sh*t together in more ways than what our society expects from the checklist of standard life accomplishments by the age of 30. I never thought that one who is so independent, ambitious, accomplished, and intelligent in their own right, would ever need anything, let alone anyone, to bring stability into his life. Aren't all his accomplishments enough proof of exactly that?
"How is a woman going to bring you stability?", I had asked. "Women are much smarter than men, in a lot of ways," he answered rather matter-of-factly, "they look at the world differently than we do. Having their added opinions and ideas only make me a better person; hence 'stability'." Perhaps he and I have differing views on what the definition of the word itself.
Having passed the innocence of the early 20's, the spiritual growth of the mid-20's, and attained the all-importance balance in my life in my recent late 20's, I had come to learn that stability can only be achieved from within self. The world constantly changes: your environment, your friends, your job, your car, your priorities and all those that surround you. They will continue to change and evolve, and hopefully you have enough stability within yourself to know the difference between which part of you needs to grow, and which can sustain as its own.
I came to realize that I wouldn't be ready for the great love of my life until I know I have reached that elusive steadiness of knowing who I am, what I want, and where I want to be. To me, the challenge becomes the stability that you have come to know and own to possibly be wavered by another person's influence.
Where is the line between growing and not losing part of who you are? Isn't someone who brings in different ideas, opinions, mixed with emotions only going to shake that stability?
In the end, I don't disagree with my good friend. I don't disagree with myself either. They both only add to the stability of growth in my own mind.
"How is a woman going to bring you stability?", I had asked. "Women are much smarter than men, in a lot of ways," he answered rather matter-of-factly, "they look at the world differently than we do. Having their added opinions and ideas only make me a better person; hence 'stability'." Perhaps he and I have differing views on what the definition of the word itself.
Having passed the innocence of the early 20's, the spiritual growth of the mid-20's, and attained the all-importance balance in my life in my recent late 20's, I had come to learn that stability can only be achieved from within self. The world constantly changes: your environment, your friends, your job, your car, your priorities and all those that surround you. They will continue to change and evolve, and hopefully you have enough stability within yourself to know the difference between which part of you needs to grow, and which can sustain as its own.
I came to realize that I wouldn't be ready for the great love of my life until I know I have reached that elusive steadiness of knowing who I am, what I want, and where I want to be. To me, the challenge becomes the stability that you have come to know and own to possibly be wavered by another person's influence.
Where is the line between growing and not losing part of who you are? Isn't someone who brings in different ideas, opinions, mixed with emotions only going to shake that stability?
In the end, I don't disagree with my good friend. I don't disagree with myself either. They both only add to the stability of growth in my own mind.
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