Having been completely self-sufficient and independent from my friends' ever-timely lives as they are expected to be by our smoothed-over culture, it had never occurred to me that my life, for once, would ever be directly impacted, by how their lives have evolved.
With all the excitement of (10) weddings of 2 years past, and (7) babies of 6 months past having come and gone, I am faced with the question: Now what?
It is one thing for your friends to couple up and settle down, and another when their routines are dictated by the wake up cries at daybreak, afternoon naps, and scheduled bedtimes. I have been guilty of getting completely caught up in the thrilling whirlwind of new lives being formed, created, and delivered, that I didn't stop to think about what it would mean to me once the new arrivals are announced.
I have walked along this path and now come to a stop at, what seems to me, an unexpected crossroad. The only thing that bothers me this time around, is not the options themselves, but rather, for the first time, I am concerned about whether I am going to make the right turn.
My personal aspirations have always been uncomplicated: explore as many things as possible in life; absorb them; determine which ones are right or wrong for me - not to repeat the latter, and for the former: aim high for those that inspire, move, and shape a better me. They do not have to be quantitative. They do not even have to be tangible. They don't have to be right in the eyes of others. They just have to feel right for my mind and body.
I have been walking without looking up, only around and forward. I have not planned where my turns are going to be, how it would happen, and especially when. Whenever I make the wrong turn, I simply turn around and choose a different path.
Today, however, is a different day. I wonder if finally I need to figure out a destination each time I start. What that is, I am uncertain. I only know that along the way, if something peaks my interest, I will continue to stop and test it out.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Good to Great
10 Keys to turning your life from good to great:
- Make the story of your life an Oscar-winning movie
- Expand your mind and universe: ask tough questions.
- Interrupt negative thoughts
- Be flexible & adapt: it is the sign of an evolved person.
- Lose the baggage: forgive, let go, and move on.
- Appreciate and Love: they work hand in hand. Contrary to the usual belief, love is not something that happens to you, it is something you do.
- Find blessing in every mess: by taking something positive out of every situation, you will lead a happier life.
- Embrace humility: you will earn respect from others.
- Be active: a healthy body leads to a healthy mind; and vice versa.
- Face the fear and do it anyway: live with courage, dignity, and an open heart. Continually reflect on yourself.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself" - Leo Tolstoy
Saturday, June 7, 2008
A better world, a better self
With the earth collapsing from all of its weight of human errors, and humans being the largest contributors to its slow demise, how do we make it better?
Or more importantly: Can we make it better?
An impressionable friend of mine, who applies a new learning or theory every other week, it seems, cancelled his honeymoon to India after having read a book on the overheating of our world. Unnecessary travels consuming jet fuels, emitting vast amounts of ozone-damaging carbon dioxide, amongst others, intrigued his forever-evolving brain. He decided that he and his future wife should try and undertake an environmentally-friendly honeymoon instead. Something that represents better who they are, and helps the little bit that counts towards saving this precious planet on which we live. Off to the Queen Charlotte islands they went - countless hours of ferry rides, biking and walking for 2 solid weeks. And they, are no tree-hugging granolas.
Another environmentalist acquaintance attended a protest on the teardown of a neighbourhood park to build another cookie-cutter Tim Horton's in his hometown. His deep belief and passion for the environment, it seems, is something he is willing to show all the way. Though he feels beaten and discouraged at times ("Inevitably you make more enemies than friends," he once said to me), he is still open to coming up short of his aspirations, as long as he makes his point across somehow, no matter how small a fraction.
In speaking of aspirations: do the great things in life require the most sacrifice?
I have yet to find mine. The most difficult challenge I have for myself, I hate to admit, has been simply making myself a better person. It is a challenge solely because it is a never-ending goal; or so it seems. The more I think I've discovered something, and made progress, the more I find things that can be better. As shitty as they are when romantic relationships end, for instance, they have been my biggest blessings in learned-experiences - how to tackle myself by seeing it through someone else's eyes. My work, my friends' and other people's experiences, my family and its history and therefore my upbringing, are also grand contributors. From those, it seems to me, I can only control to change myself, not other people, by learning about what, who, where, when, why, and how things came about to become as they are; as tomorrow, I can only try to be better than myself today.
Perhaps I'm just too critical of myself. Then I remind myself what someone wise told me once: being in the middle of any journey entailing discovery, evaluation and adaptation, automatically also means that there will always be more questions, more to do, and things you could do better. This, ultimately, applies to whichever cause.
How can we heal the world? Do we attain such a goal by reaching outwards - using our skills, knowledge, and passion all put into it? Or do we simply believe that by fixing the 'we' now based on past learnings, the future will inevitably fix itself? Is the only medicine to change the future to become an active participant?
Above all else, even if there were nothing else left to be admired, I will still admire that. I admire all things that I am not. But in the end, whether you work your way in from the outside, or out from the inside, we are all here only to fulfill the same dream.
Or more importantly: Can we make it better?
An impressionable friend of mine, who applies a new learning or theory every other week, it seems, cancelled his honeymoon to India after having read a book on the overheating of our world. Unnecessary travels consuming jet fuels, emitting vast amounts of ozone-damaging carbon dioxide, amongst others, intrigued his forever-evolving brain. He decided that he and his future wife should try and undertake an environmentally-friendly honeymoon instead. Something that represents better who they are, and helps the little bit that counts towards saving this precious planet on which we live. Off to the Queen Charlotte islands they went - countless hours of ferry rides, biking and walking for 2 solid weeks. And they, are no tree-hugging granolas.
Another environmentalist acquaintance attended a protest on the teardown of a neighbourhood park to build another cookie-cutter Tim Horton's in his hometown. His deep belief and passion for the environment, it seems, is something he is willing to show all the way. Though he feels beaten and discouraged at times ("Inevitably you make more enemies than friends," he once said to me), he is still open to coming up short of his aspirations, as long as he makes his point across somehow, no matter how small a fraction.
In speaking of aspirations: do the great things in life require the most sacrifice?
I have yet to find mine. The most difficult challenge I have for myself, I hate to admit, has been simply making myself a better person. It is a challenge solely because it is a never-ending goal; or so it seems. The more I think I've discovered something, and made progress, the more I find things that can be better. As shitty as they are when romantic relationships end, for instance, they have been my biggest blessings in learned-experiences - how to tackle myself by seeing it through someone else's eyes. My work, my friends' and other people's experiences, my family and its history and therefore my upbringing, are also grand contributors. From those, it seems to me, I can only control to change myself, not other people, by learning about what, who, where, when, why, and how things came about to become as they are; as tomorrow, I can only try to be better than myself today.
Perhaps I'm just too critical of myself. Then I remind myself what someone wise told me once: being in the middle of any journey entailing discovery, evaluation and adaptation, automatically also means that there will always be more questions, more to do, and things you could do better. This, ultimately, applies to whichever cause.
How can we heal the world? Do we attain such a goal by reaching outwards - using our skills, knowledge, and passion all put into it? Or do we simply believe that by fixing the 'we' now based on past learnings, the future will inevitably fix itself? Is the only medicine to change the future to become an active participant?
Above all else, even if there were nothing else left to be admired, I will still admire that. I admire all things that I am not. But in the end, whether you work your way in from the outside, or out from the inside, we are all here only to fulfill the same dream.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Reason, Season, Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
- Anonymous
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
- Anonymous
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