New York, New York

Lit up sky in Time Square. Pristine sidewalks on Upper East Side. Trendy boutiques on its Lower side. Chic Cafes in Soho. Barney's on Madison, Bergdorf on 5th, Macy's on 34th. Central Park on their sides. Boutique Lounges in East Village. Tall glass buildings on the Down side. Brownstones in Greenwich Village.

The city that never sleeps.

High-heeled on sidewalks, I braved the city waving my arm to the oncoming blurs of yellow, much like the locals, a la Carrie Bradshaw. There is something to be said, still so European yet very much North American, in this busy lovely city called New York. Everyone dressed to the nines, a complete opposite end of the spectrum compared to its laid-back, surfer-yoga-enthusiast-tofu-eating-hiking-snowboarding westcoast counterpart. I felt out of place, yet at home in this city, having labelled myself as a city girl at heart, regardless where I actually reside and guilty admitance for my penchant for Ugg boots on weekends and rainslicker in my dogwalking moments.

Despite the sudden change in the out-of-normal warm January temperature to frigid east-coast bitter cold that cut through your flesh like an icepick, I walked outside. I put my hood up and survived. Anything that would sustain my endurance in order to not miss out.

If I could just brave the cold, keep my eyes open, stand my 4-inch-heeled feet on the ground, I can take in just a little bit more, and not lose a single fleeting moment in this city that truly does not sleep.

Hotel on Rivington. Koi and Buddakan. MoMA. Chicago on Broadwayl. Dream Lounge. The Royalton. The Guggenheim. Clear Manhattan skyline through leafless Central Park. Lunch with the ladies who lunch at Bergdorf 7th floor Cafe...

When biting the big apple, a bite is never enough, and the night never ends.

In a manner of speaking

In a day where arguably chivalry is assumed to be DOA, women equality is prominent, and proper etiquette is a subject of old adage, how important are good manners in today's age?

At dinner, we talked endlessly, had a lot in common. We laughed at the same time, and the silences were not at all awkward. I excused myself, he got up as I did. When I came back to the table, he stood up as I was seating myself back down.

It was the first time I was ever truly impressed with a simple, old-school gesture and what it meant.

I grew up in a household where you wait your turn to speak, even though speaking your mind was always encouraged; where you let those older than you take their turn before you, even though you should always go for what you want; where you eat with your mouth closed, even though you can converse during meals; be courteous whenever possible, no matter how old or young those around you are. I was taught the simple manners in life that have become second nature and unquestioningly part of a regular life.

So when does a simple conduct become debatably out-of-the-way notable by those around them? Have etiquettes of the past become extinct - words of the past we only see and read about in 19th-century novels or movies?

The way I see it, there are 3 levels of good manners: Level 1 are the timeless, must-have simple etiquette such as the ones I learned from my parents; Level 2 is the nice-to-have gesture most of us might need a bit of reminding from time to time; and Level 3 which is the bonus-if-you-ever-experience-it sort, because of their out-of-the-way-nice nature such as my dinner date anecdote.

Level 1 is a given. I wonder about those who do not practice them on a regular basis. Who actually still responds with "huh?" instead of "pardon?"; forgets to say "please" and "thank you"; does not introduce people around them to each other, or worse yet, excludes a person out of a conversation?

Level 2 can be tricky. We sometimes need to remember to offer our seats to the ladies, the elderly; open doors for women, or even hold the door open for the person right behind you regardless of their sex; to say 'yes' instead of 'yeah'; and in the age of mobile phones where shared land-lines are almost non-existent, to ask politely "May I speak to..." for the person with whom you are wanting to speak.

Level 3, on the other hand, is a way to memorably get attention. This category mostly falls under the chivalry section, and arguably dead because women, wanting to be treated equal to men, do not 'need' to be treated any differently. Do we need to order first at a restaurant? be let out of an elevator before a man? have our tabs taken care of all the time? or, as my date Matt was taught at a young age by his father, to stand up for a woman whenever she leaves or approaches the space where you happen to be?

I do not need the people around me to know that you pass the salt and pepper as a pair (and to your right), or to place the napkin on their laps immediately upon being seated at a dinner table, but can appreciate being addressed first by a server at a restaurant. I like to pay for the bill every now and then, but won't get offended if a man asks me to wait and offers to get the car while I wait inside. I do not have to have my chair pulled out for me before I sit down, but would love it if one introduces another with more than just a name.

I don't need to be reminded of how much time has changed, but I can certainly recognise the value of good manners of any kind.

A Successful Year

It's a new year: a new beginning to some, new resolutions to others.

How do we reflect on the past year and look at our accomplishments and failures, and therefore define whether or not we have had a successful year?

What are the points on which we measure such an answer? The resolutions we kept in which we succeeded; the goals we had set, accomplished, and even possibly surpassed; where we are in our personal or professional lives?

One's happiness in life can be measured by the richness life itself feels, how fulfilled and well-balanced it is. Do we then, in turn, think about the reasons why we feel fulfilled, by listing all our accomplishments and things that made us happy over the past year? Is it at all possible that what gives our lives a sense of richness does not come from reason and intellect and instead from a well-balanced emotional brain defined by the strong connections and full relationship we have made? If so, where and how can we find these within ourselves?

1. Our physical existence: The more connected we are to our physical being, the more fulfilled we would feel about our health, and in turn, our happiness. I feel more connected to my own body after exercising, and feel more aware of my own body's reaction to the world, and further building the connection to the roots of my emotions. However, this area is not solely defined by our exercise regimen (mine definitely could have been better), rather, however which way we go about our days in trying to connect our mind with our body.

2. Intimacy: Our emotional brain is also designed to regulate our emotional relationships. Naturally, love is an effective way of giving us meaning. Anything that involves us in intimate relationships - with our friends, family, or significant other - anchors us firmly in our existence. I love having my hand held, for example. For me, someone who is unafraid of holding onto mine, is telling me to trust them and have them lead the way, or that they trust me as they can feel the connection of the coolness or heat of our emotions transferred through the palm of our hands. It is a sign of the beginning of intimacy. I appreciate someone confiding in me and also feel a sense of emotional connection once I open myself up to another. All those to whom we feel close connect us to life and give it meaning.

Intimacy is often times mistaken for its physical counterpart, and it is not difficult to confuse the two. However, intimacy is about the mental and emotional closeness one feels to another being. And the more we have, the more content we can end up.

3. Community: It is important that we give back to our community. By that, I don't mean volunteering at every soup kitchen in the neighbourhood, or donating money to charities or attending charity functions. It is the feeling that we get from doing something as simple as offering our seats to an elderly on a bus, opening a door for someone whose hands are full, being pleasant to strangers, or anything else selfless with no real reward except for the feeling of being useful and appreciated by another human being. Everyone loves feeling appreciated. Little do we know, the elderly for whom we give up our seat would feel exactly that, and that we add value to this life.

4. Spirituality: It is possible to feel connected to a dimension beyond the body. It doesn't mean we have to have a religion in which we can define our spiritual belief, instead the to be able to feel that we are in the presence of something much greater than all of the physical world. I grew up in a religious upbringing, and had always been made aware that there is something greater out there that is watching over us. However, true spirituality can come into contact with us simply whenever I am face to face with nature, or in certain places that remind me how insignificant we are in the universe. Strangely, it is at the precise moment when we experience how small we are that life itself seems to fill with meaning, and so do we.

I reflected on these 4 points and reviewed my year. I concluded 'twas a good year. But there is always room for improvement this year.