Ask and you will find

Recent events in my life have led me to evaluate the people by whom I am surrounded. I have many great people whose lives I have shared in one way or another, by one circumstance to another, having met by chance, through another, work or school, or simply just. These are friendships we hold dear to our hearts, near or far, people we know who have always been there and always will. And hardship is the true test of the relationship - so can it stand through it all?

Whatever is the answer, what we seek for when we do for that solace, may not receive the same answer from each person. We need to look deep into ourselves to fully realise what type of answer we want.

As we grow older, we grow to become different people. Similarities we found with others when we were younger, may no longer be apparent, obvious, or even there at all. At what point, however, do you stop comparing those differences and looking for those (once) similarities, in order for those relationships to sustain?

One thing for certain, is you will never stop caring for those you always have cared about, and those who have always cared about you. One does not need to have experienced the same experiences you have to be able to be there for you, but at least one out of 2 similarities needs to exist in order for a close friendship to sustain itself: the external or the internal. External interests will lead to shared physical experiences, whereas Internal interests will lead to deeper mental understanding.

As children, mental capacities still at their developmental phase, external similarities are what we seek after. As adults, those external interests merely become a cover, and more depth is required in the connection between two people. Unfortunately some adults never care to go beyond this need. They don't feel the need to learn more about themselves by avoiding looking inwards.

As an adult I have come to recognise what it is I search for in a friendship. I don't seek for answers to my questions. At least not someone else's, but rather more questions that will lead me to my own solution. You can only resolve your feelings and unsettled thoughts by coming up with your own resolution, thus you will believe in them truly.

So ask me those tough questions. I am ready to find my answers.