When all is settled and down

I had had the pleasure of going to 9 different weddings last year. Yes, you read correctly.

2 decades-old friends; 1 destination on white sands; 1 that made everyone cry; 1 of old family friends where I tried to avoid all my parents' friends' inquiries on "when is your turn?"; 1 classic one that went until 7am; 1 we had been waiting for 8 years; 1 in a beautiful park overlooking the city; 1 colleague where I didn't really know anyone.

Aside from weddings, showers, and the all-fun hen parties, all these weddings signified something more than just a row of gifts and wedding cakes. Or one too many champagne.

I knew then as I know now, that the storks will be flying by anytime now.

Sure enough, recently I received news of 2 friends who are expecting. A few more are trying. All this baby talk is making me dizzy. Spinning conversations on love, relationships, and life. R and A had it planned. It happened a little earlier than expected, but such is life. They are both excited at the prospect of the upcoming bundle of joy, and so am I for them. B broke the news to me last night. Of all my male friends, he is definitely the last I would ever expect to have one. It was an accident. They are going to try and make it work.

I'm not in love with you, he had told her. That was what he could utter right before he made the decision to move in with her.

She needs me to be there for her, at least for a while. He is nuts, I thought.

How can you want to be with someone you don't love? Then again, this works for some people.

At first I was flabbergasted at the idea that it happened to the one guy who seemed the least responsible and settled-down as the rest of the lot. What do you expect out of a twenty-something guy, still completing his graduate studies, working full time, with many aspirations and possibilities? I was disappointed for him.

Then I understood. Things happen for a reason. This is going to teach him something; he will be a great father; his life will be turned upside down. He will have to grow up. I was proud of him and excited about the prospect of whom he will become.

It hit me that I am still a novice at this Blahblahblah called relationship and love; how different each one is for everyone; what they mean individually and collectively. I yearn to understand.

My head is spinning upon the realization that although I would want something more for myself, you cannot plan everything in your future. Baby talks aside, I am instantly reminded of something my favourite TV character once said:

Some people are settling, some are settling down, but some of us simply refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies

I may not know what my future holds. But this, I know for certain.