Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hand.

To “let go” is not to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle of arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my own desires but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to critize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and to live for today.

To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.

-Anonymous

Falling into Soul

If you want to be at peace, you are going to have to do the work of healing yourself. If you choose not to do that, and it is a choice, then you will live a life of confusion, pain, and darkness. And there's just no good reason for that. Life can be so achingly beautiful, even when it's painful, like it is today.

It can feel so overwhelming, we run from it for as long as we do. It's like anything else that is unknown. We let fear of the unknown take over and decide we'd better stay where we are. Or worse yet, we let fear get in the way of what we think we know from our past experiences that were negative, even if they are completely screwed up. Because it is familiar. We may not know it is familiar, but we all revert back to what we know.

Really, we should be running towards that rabbit hole. Diving in head first, with our mind quiet and our heart open - let me know myself. Let me sit in front of the mirror of my soul and download the information that I already know. That I've somehow forgot, covered over, or run from.

Some people get stuck playing with the Queen for years. They look long enough to identify their stuff, but that's as far as they want to go. So they can tell you why they are the way they are, but they don't make the moves necessary to do anything about it. Healing requires action. Identifying the source of your pain is a start, but it is not the place to quit. Justifying an unhappy present as the result of a disappointing past is not going to get us anywhere.

We love to be the victims, the heroes, or the martyrs. We love our stories and our rationalizations and our coping mechanisms, whether we realize it or not. Those are not the moves that bring peace and understanding. Get real. In a compassionate way, look honestly at our stuff, deal with anything that isn't serving us. Look for the pattern and find the source. Commit to feeding thoughts, words and actions that are going to lead to joy, love, and growth. Start starving everything else. Give up the coping mechanisms that keep us numb - running away, avoiding, attacking. Put the crutches down, start digging into the hole.

Before Alice got to Wonderland, she had to fall pretty hard down a deep hole.

olfactory

I love the smell of old books,
New shoes,
lavender in the air;
coconut-scented shampoo, a reminder
Of crashing waves on santa teresa's sands.

I crave the smell of sweet baked bread,
fresh from the oven, cinnamon, sugar, and jam;
grapefruit juice, rosemary, and ginger on ice,
on a hot summer day, a hat, book at hand.

I have forgot the smell of you,
Of fresh laundry, cigar and sweat;
the sound of music, drum beats, reverberating
in an empty space.

I smell the smell, of love found,
love lost, lovers' lust;
forever filled, I am,
with this friendship thine.

I believe

in being open-minded,

and seeing the glass as half-full;

life is too short to dwell on what could've been.

in giving, and

being kind to people - especially techsupport staff and servers -

you can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat the latter;

besides, let's face it, they could easily screw with our food.

in loving unconditionally the people who made you from scratch;

in surrounding yourself with those who inspire you,

and those who can bring you back down when your head gets too high.

that it is important to say nice things,

especially to strangers.

A compliment can make one's day, even if it's just about their hair.

in having a different opinion from another's,

yet still respecting theirs;

in not taking yourself too seriously.

that there is still good in a bad situation,

even if it doesn't show itself for a while.

that it is important to have your heart broken

once in your life; because

you may think life is over without them,

only to find yourself a better person.

in having an ever-evolving soul,

learning from old mistakes,

making new ones, and

continuing to improve who you are everyday.

in thinking that just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,

it became a butterfly.

I know now, that...

...the depth of friendship is not measured by the frequency you see or talk to each other;
what you know or know not about the other,
rather, what you can say whilst knowing
that they will still be yours


...good communication is not about what you say, but how you say it;
that it is not what and how much you know,
but how you teach others of your knowledge.


...the greatest gift life gives us,
is to learn from every misfortune, joyous moment, blessing, and curse;
Daily.


...it isn't about how much you have in common with someone,
for you to be good together;
that it is about having the same values,
even though you may value different things;
yet that you both have to, however,
agree on that.


...life, love and loss,
are the only topics of conversation worth having,
in order for us to really live.


...just because you're never alone, it doesn't mean you can't be lonely; that
you are not really alone when you are surrounded by the things you love;


...it isn't so much about staying still, or
moving forward at certain moments,
but knowing when the right time is to differentiate between the two;


because life is about continual searching,
for moments.

If

A few last words from one of my favourite authors:

"If for an instant God forgot that I am just a puppet, and He gave me one more piece of life, I would take advantage of that time, the best I could.
I would probably not say everything I think, but definitely think all that I say.
I would value things not for what they are worth, but for what they represent.
I would sleep less, and dream more. For every minute we close our eyes, we lose 60 seconds of light.
I would continue where others have stopped and I would rise when others sleep.

If God allowed me one more piece of life, I would dress simpler, wallow in the sunlight, leaving uncovered not only my body, but also my soul.
I would prove to men how wrong they are to think that they stop falling in love as they get older, since they actually start getting older as soon as they stop falling in love.
I would give wings to the children, but I would leave the child alone so that he could learn how to fly on his own.
To the old, I would show them how death comes not with the ageing process but with forgetting.

So many things I have learned from you.

I have learned that everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain, forgetting that how we climb is all that matters.
I have learned that when a newborn grabs his father's thumb, he takes a hold on him forever.
I have learned that a man has the right to look down on somebody, only when he is helping him to get up.

So many things I have learned from all of you.

Always tell what you feel, and do what you think.
If I knew that today it would be the last time that I will see you, I would embrace you strongly to be the guardian of your soul.
If I would know that these would be the last minutes that I would see you, I would say to you "I love you" and wouldn't assume that you would know it.

There is always morning where life gives us another opportunity to make things good.
Keep always close to you your dear ones, and tell them how much you need them and love and take care of them.
Take time to say "I am sorry", "forgive me", "please", "thank you", and all the nice and lovely words you know.
Nobody would remember if you keep your thoughts secret. Force yourself to express them..."

- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

A few things I learned from my dog

When it comes to learning, who says animals can't be just as good of a source? Macy, like others of her kind, has it right all along. When it comes to the most important things in life: keep it simple.

1. Be a good sport. Sometimes you just have to do things you may not want to do that someone else does.
2. Persevere in the face of difficulty. Getting a treat out of that Kong chewtoy can be more mind-boggling than most of our problems.
3. Always give your friends a shoulder to lean on.
4. When in doubt, sleep on it. Take more than 1 night, if you need it.
5. Life is a game of give and take. Remember to give more, and take less.
6. It's okay to be sad sometimes. Even if it's just because someone leaves you home alone for a few hours.
7. Share and share alike.
8. Let your feelings show!
9. If what you want lies buried, dig deeper. Use all your paws.
10. Don't let anyone stare you down.
11. Keep your eye on the ball. Run after it, catch it, and you'll be asking for more.
12. Stand your ground.
13. Be yourself.
14. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
15. Keep learning new tricks. It's the only way to grow.
16. Every day is a good day to treat yourself.
17. Always stand up for your owners. Friends. You know what I mean.
18. Question authority.
19. Exude confidence.
20. If you bite off more than you can chew, keep chewing. It will pay off in the end.
21. Patience is usually rewarded.
22. Romp daily.
23. Take time to dream.
24. Keep your eyes on the sun - you won't see the shadows.
25. Laugh. And do it often.
26. Bark softly but carry a big stick.
27. Strive to be beautiful inside.
28. Never underestimate the power of looking cute.
29. Take on new challenges. They keep you sharp.
30. Start every day with a song.
31. Practice mindfulness.
32. Remember that a bark can be bigger than a bite.
33. Don't be afraid to make new friends. Just don't sniff their bums in the process.
34. Rise to every occasion.
35. Pick your battles. Walking away is just as brave, if not more.
36. Try to catch every ball thrown your way. And when you do, do it with grace and humility.
37. If you've got something to say...speak up!!
38. Perfect a firm handshake.
39. Know thyself.
40. Let it all hang out.
41. Take time to sniff every blade of grass. Though maybe not in search of a place to pee.
42. Keep a low profile.
43. Never bite, when a growl will do.

To err is human;
To forgive,
Canine.

An Excerpt

"For the first time in my life I understood the meaning of the word never. And it's really awful. You say the word a hundred times a day but you don't really know what you are saying until you're faced with a real "never again." Ultimately you always have the illusion that you're in control of what's happening; nothing seems definitive....And I think that even a few seconds before dying, "never again" would still just be empty words. But when someone that you love dies...well, I can tell you that you really feel what it means and it really really hurts. It's like fireworks suddenly burning out in the sky and everything going black. I fell alone, and sick, my heart aches and every movement seems to require a colossal effort.

...Thinking back on it, this evening, with my heart and my stomach all like jelly, I have finally concluded, maybe that's what life is about: there's a lot of despair, but also the odd moment of beauty, where time is no longer the same. It's as if those strains of music created a sort of interlude in time, something suspended, an elsewhere that had come to us, an always within never.

Yes, that's it, an always within never.

...Because from now on, ...I'll be searching for those moments of always within never.

Beauty, in this world."

- The Elegance of the Hedgehog (Muriel Barbery)

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get, when, in the midst ofall your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH!
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear overthe next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are and that is O.K. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you- or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have been bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, that it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty, and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and it's O.K. to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things taken for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

X-Roads

Having been completely self-sufficient and independent from my friends' ever-timely lives as they are expected to be by our smoothed-over culture, it had never occurred to me that my life, for once, would ever be directly impacted, by how their lives have evolved.

With all the excitement of (10) weddings of 2 years past, and (7) babies of 6 months past having come and gone, I am faced with the question: Now what?

It is one thing for your friends to couple up and settle down, and another when their routines are dictated by the wake up cries at daybreak, afternoon naps, and scheduled bedtimes. I have been guilty of getting completely caught up in the thrilling whirlwind of new lives being formed, created, and delivered, that I didn't stop to think about what it would mean to me once the new arrivals are announced.

I have walked along this path and now come to a stop at, what seems to me, an unexpected crossroad. The only thing that bothers me this time around, is not the options themselves, but rather, for the first time, I am concerned about whether I am going to make the right turn.

My personal aspirations have always been uncomplicated: explore as many things as possible in life; absorb them; determine which ones are right or wrong for me - not to repeat the latter, and for the former: aim high for those that inspire, move, and shape a better me. They do not have to be quantitative. They do not even have to be tangible. They don't have to be right in the eyes of others. They just have to feel right for my mind and body.

I have been walking without looking up, only around and forward. I have not planned where my turns are going to be, how it would happen, and especially when. Whenever I make the wrong turn, I simply turn around and choose a different path.

Today, however, is a different day. I wonder if finally I need to figure out a destination each time I start. What that is, I am uncertain. I only know that along the way, if something peaks my interest, I will continue to stop and test it out.

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

- Anonymous

Stability vs. Growth

A friend recently told me that he is in search of a woman, to add stability into his life. Not the financial way; but rather the mental and emotional. This came from someone whom I respect, as much of a dreamer as he is, he's got his sh*t together in more ways than what our society expects from the checklist of standard life accomplishments by the age of 30. I never thought that one who is so independent, ambitious, accomplished, and intelligent in their own right, would ever need anything, let alone anyone, to bring stability into his life. Aren't all his accomplishments enough proof of exactly that?

"How is a woman going to bring you stability?", I had asked. "Women are much smarter than men, in a lot of ways," he answered rather matter-of-factly, "they look at the world differently than we do. Having their added opinions and ideas only make me a better person; hence 'stability'." Perhaps he and I have differing views on what the definition of the word itself.

Having passed the innocence of the early 20's, the spiritual growth of the mid-20's, and attained the all-importance balance in my life in my recent late 20's, I had come to learn that stability can only be achieved from within self. The world constantly changes: your environment, your friends, your job, your car, your priorities and all those that surround you. They will continue to change and evolve, and hopefully you have enough stability within yourself to know the difference between which part of you needs to grow, and which can sustain as its own.

I came to realize that I wouldn't be ready for the great love of my life until I know I have reached that elusive steadiness of knowing who I am, what I want, and where I want to be. To me, the challenge becomes the stability that you have come to know and own to possibly be wavered by another person's influence.

Where is the line between growing and not losing part of who you are? Isn't someone who brings in different ideas, opinions, mixed with emotions only going to shake that stability?

In the end, I don't disagree with my good friend. I don't disagree with myself either. They both only add to the stability of growth in my own mind.

Ask and you will find

Recent events in my life have led me to evaluate the people by whom I am surrounded. I have many great people whose lives I have shared in one way or another, by one circumstance to another, having met by chance, through another, work or school, or simply just. These are friendships we hold dear to our hearts, near or far, people we know who have always been there and always will. And hardship is the true test of the relationship - so can it stand through it all?

Whatever is the answer, what we seek for when we do for that solace, may not receive the same answer from each person. We need to look deep into ourselves to fully realise what type of answer we want.

As we grow older, we grow to become different people. Similarities we found with others when we were younger, may no longer be apparent, obvious, or even there at all. At what point, however, do you stop comparing those differences and looking for those (once) similarities, in order for those relationships to sustain?

One thing for certain, is you will never stop caring for those you always have cared about, and those who have always cared about you. One does not need to have experienced the same experiences you have to be able to be there for you, but at least one out of 2 similarities needs to exist in order for a close friendship to sustain itself: the external or the internal. External interests will lead to shared physical experiences, whereas Internal interests will lead to deeper mental understanding.

As children, mental capacities still at their developmental phase, external similarities are what we seek after. As adults, those external interests merely become a cover, and more depth is required in the connection between two people. Unfortunately some adults never care to go beyond this need. They don't feel the need to learn more about themselves by avoiding looking inwards.

As an adult I have come to recognise what it is I search for in a friendship. I don't seek for answers to my questions. At least not someone else's, but rather more questions that will lead me to my own solution. You can only resolve your feelings and unsettled thoughts by coming up with your own resolution, thus you will believe in them truly.

So ask me those tough questions. I am ready to find my answers.

A Journey to the Finish Line

There are 2 types of people in this world: one who sees their life as a set of stages, for which there is a finish line towards which you work. Once you complete one, you move on to the next. The second type is one who goes through life and treats it as a journey; one who enjoys and lives the moment, instead of looking for the "what's next".

It is difficult, especially as a young woman, to not be swayed by society norms to do what is expected of you, or rather, what is considered "normal". You get educated, meet someone who fulfills your long list of criteria that would make the perfect husband, in between, during, or before which time you may do some travelling, get married, have children, and so forth. Each stage is clearly marked - some given an expiry date; each stage, when completed, receives a check mark on the list. The big question is, are those things really what we all want, or are they all things that our parents, friends, or culture surround our lives with, so that we really do believe those are the things that we truly want for ourselves. For some, they really are.

What if there is no finish line?

What if you live your life as it goes, and perhaps those different stages are the same, though possibly out of order, however, there is no shelf life to each stage; no deadline, no clock ticking, no expectation? Does that make your life unfulfilled? Are you then not doing the right thing? Have you chosen a lifestyle that is not easily-approved?

A friend advised me once that I simply cannot continue working long hours, because that lessened the amount of time I would have otherwise in meeting someone. Lonely as I do feel at times I need someone, I would never make that an objective of my current "stage". The utmost importance to this life is creating and achieving balance, and that said loneliness is simply part of a journey for which I need to make room and from which I must learn. That journey itself, to me, is the finish line.

I only need to remind myself that this does not make one a failure. Believe in what you think is important, and intrinsic success and happiness will come. It is more important than what others may consider is the definition of being successful at life. Remember that one's finish line is not necessarily another's, and even if so, definitely never at the exact same time.

A Student of Sorts

When do I feel whole? When do I experience bliss in its true, timeless definition?

Always when I define answers with questions, when I share myself with others, and the harmony of the elements: the magnificent rising of the sun, the quiet sound of falling snowflakes, the reverberating beat of crashing waves, the tranquility of soft breeze brushing against your skin, and the majestic layers of colours of a sunset painting the sky.

My friends would describe me as a thinker and an inquirer. A perpetual learner of sorts, with a propensity to ask - no answer is ever satisfactory, until the questions can stop. You say black, I see the small specks of light coming through. You see white, I ask "where did all the colours go?" You think 'run as fast as you can', I say "slow down!" Why rush through this fleeting moment called life like it is a five-second obstacle to get you to the next best thing?

Five seconds.

The amount of time it takes for your heart to melt at the sight of a puppy dog's eyes. The amount of time it takes for your hand to feel warm inside his. The amount of time it takes for your eyes to adjust in the dark just in time to catch his loving gaze.

I enjoy so much and can't seem to get enough. I am cursed with compassion, affection, and a giving nature. I am blessed with sensitivity, curiosity, and complexity. I have yet to find everlasting peace; a sense of unrestrained and continual-searching for growth, meaningful and uprejudiced understanding, the fill to an insatiable urge for teaching, learning, embracing.

I am a student of life and all that it has to offer: an eternal apprentice of love and its virtues, of people and their relationships within, of myself with all of its imperfections.

I pride myself in being a seeker in an endless pursuit of knowledge.

In what, you ask?
Anything, everything, and sometimes nothing at all, as long as it brings me closer to who I am and completes whom I will become.

And why, you ask?
Because there are no answers, only more questions that can bring you back.

To a simple thing called love.

The joyous cries of delight of a child, the warm touch of a friend's heart, the butterflies in your stomach when you see his face.

I forever stand in awe, in front of life.

A Successful Year

It's a new year: a new beginning to some, new resolutions to others.

How do we reflect on the past year and look at our accomplishments and failures, and therefore define whether or not we have had a successful year?

What are the points on which we measure such an answer? The resolutions we kept in which we succeeded; the goals we had set, accomplished, and even possibly surpassed; where we are in our personal or professional lives?

One's happiness in life can be measured by the richness life itself feels, how fulfilled and well-balanced it is. Do we then, in turn, think about the reasons why we feel fulfilled, by listing all our accomplishments and things that made us happy over the past year? Is it at all possible that what gives our lives a sense of richness does not come from reason and intellect and instead from a well-balanced emotional brain defined by the strong connections and full relationship we have made? If so, where and how can we find these within ourselves?

1. Our physical existence: The more connected we are to our physical being, the more fulfilled we would feel about our health, and in turn, our happiness. I feel more connected to my own body after exercising, and feel more aware of my own body's reaction to the world, and further building the connection to the roots of my emotions. However, this area is not solely defined by our exercise regimen (mine definitely could have been better), rather, however which way we go about our days in trying to connect our mind with our body.

2. Intimacy: Our emotional brain is also designed to regulate our emotional relationships. Naturally, love is an effective way of giving us meaning. Anything that involves us in intimate relationships - with our friends, family, or significant other - anchors us firmly in our existence. I love having my hand held, for example. For me, someone who is unafraid of holding onto mine, is telling me to trust them and have them lead the way, or that they trust me as they can feel the connection of the coolness or heat of our emotions transferred through the palm of our hands. It is a sign of the beginning of intimacy. I appreciate someone confiding in me and also feel a sense of emotional connection once I open myself up to another. All those to whom we feel close connect us to life and give it meaning.

Intimacy is often times mistaken for its physical counterpart, and it is not difficult to confuse the two. However, intimacy is about the mental and emotional closeness one feels to another being. And the more we have, the more content we can end up.

3. Community: It is important that we give back to our community. By that, I don't mean volunteering at every soup kitchen in the neighbourhood, or donating money to charities or attending charity functions. It is the feeling that we get from doing something as simple as offering our seats to an elderly on a bus, opening a door for someone whose hands are full, being pleasant to strangers, or anything else selfless with no real reward except for the feeling of being useful and appreciated by another human being. Everyone loves feeling appreciated. Little do we know, the elderly for whom we give up our seat would feel exactly that, and that we add value to this life.

4. Spirituality: It is possible to feel connected to a dimension beyond the body. It doesn't mean we have to have a religion in which we can define our spiritual belief, instead the to be able to feel that we are in the presence of something much greater than all of the physical world. I grew up in a religious upbringing, and had always been made aware that there is something greater out there that is watching over us. However, true spirituality can come into contact with us simply whenever I am face to face with nature, or in certain places that remind me how insignificant we are in the universe. Strangely, it is at the precise moment when we experience how small we are that life itself seems to fill with meaning, and so do we.

I reflected on these 4 points and reviewed my year. I concluded 'twas a good year. But there is always room for improvement this year.

Online

In our world where population growth is exponential by the decades, does it mean we are actually getting closer to another?

I cannot answer in geographical proximity, though findings have stated that in order to support population growth, the design of our world does not necessarily mean the spreading of humans into the suburban areas. Instead, we build upwards, in the very urbanite centres, creating smaller and smaller distance between us and our neighbours. Although blessed with a view that can be breathtaking, I am not one to want to live 1,000ft above the ground, in the middle of the sky.

Geography aside, what does this mean to our means of communication? The development of communication technology of recent years has enabled us to be close to those who are far, without much of an effort. It does not cease to baffle me that despite the closer physically we are believed to becoming, the farther we are in our physical communication.

Think about how often we email/text/instant mesage a colleague who is sitting across from us or a friend whom we have not seen nor talked to in weeks yet who lives 10 blocks away.

Online Dating. Online Journal. Web Meetings. Emails. Instant Messaging. Web access to limitless possibilities from shopping for groceries, furniture, to banking, books, audio-visual references.

Have we, as creatures of habits, created a small world in which we can live without having to lift a foot?

Is being online meant to bring us closer to each other, or does it inadvertently produce a reverse effect instead?

So many things can be lost in translation, and nothing replaces the power of words. People can hide behind typed letters, without ever having to show their true self. You can be whomever you want to be, because the world does not have to see the real you in order for you to communicate.

On the other hand.

We catch up with friends who live thousands of kilometres away more frequently. We don't let distance become an issue to want to be with a loved one. We communicate when we don't have to. We are able to say things when we are afraid to. We are able to solve problems without passing any wasted time.

It is a wonderful little world we have created for ourselves. One in which distance is next to none; countries merge and cultures amalgamate; where lines between the sky, the water, and the earth turn into a blur.

All things considered, in my books, I never forget that nothing beats the quintessential hug, the shoulder to cry on, a warm hand to hold onto and pull you up when you need it the most. No means of electronic convenience can ever bring the intimacy that can only be brought by another human touch.

A day in the life of

She is sleeping. Peacefully, quietly, human-like.
Tired, I reckon, after having gone for a four-hour hike all day in the rain. Not just any rain, Canada northwest-coast rain that broke records. Figured after a long, dry summer without, the sky came back with a revenge the past couple of weeks. My pristine, light-coloured couch, acquired before all this rain and Macy were ever paired together in my life, suddenly in danger.

Breathing, turning.

She is always sleeping by the time I get home, reminding me how to enjoy the little things in life, speak out when there is uncertainty, eat when it is time, walk around endlessly until you find that perfect spot to settle yourself down.